Jewish Press ATTACKS BMG!!

CORRECTED: This article in this weeks "Jewish MESS" just proves a point about how anti yeshivish this DIRT really is. (see previous post) I would consult a Posek about using this paper to clean up after your dog. I would also like for the Jewish Press to interview a "bochur" learning in YU. Don't forget to add ALL of the night activities (including various Campus "CLUBS") Jewish Press: It's six o'clock and Lakewood ``Ir Hakodesh'' is silent. All the bochurim are getting in their last hour of sleep. Now it's 7:15, and Lakewood is hopping. Everyone is fighting for a parking spot closest to the Yeshiva. Shacharis is at 7:30 and as usual, there are not enough parking spaces. This is the life of the Lakewood boys you always heard about. The life of your brother, cousin, and maybe future husband. Besides for shteiging, what else does your shteiger do all day? Do Lakewood guys play sports? Who's really the best boy in Lakewood? To answer some of your questions (as well as my own) I took the liberty of interviewing my brother who, as it happens, goes to Lakewood. For those of you who are curious, here is an outline of the boys' schedule: 7:30 — Shacharis; 10:00 — First Seder; 1:30 — Lunch; 3:30 — Second Seder; 7:15 — Mussar; 7:45 — Supper; and 9:00 — Night Seder. In other words, the day never ends. And for all of you who don't know what a seder means (like me), it's the period of time during which the boys study the Talmud, the laws of the Jewish people. At this stage in the bochurim's lives, no one is standing over them all day and making sure that they're learning. It's free will. But all the guys in Lakewood are serious and intense. Most guys are there for a reason — to learn. Like my brother said, "It's real." So, what do these intense guys do when they're not learning? "Well, we read about gedolim, and Jewish books." They shmooze and play ball (but only on Friday, or else they're too tired for night seder). Last but not least, they go.... shopping. Life in Lakewood sounds like heaven. But it's not. There is one major problem with Lakewood. Not enough parking spaces. "We need more parking spots," my brother says, "because the walk is ridiculous." How long is the walk? "A whole 10 minutes."......There is nothing in Lakewood besides the Yeshiva. There is no nightlife and no distractions, so it helps the learning. The houses are much nicer and cheaper, which is probably one of the reasons why a lot of the yungeleit are moving there now. Also, it sounds like a wonderful place to raise children. Okay. Here's something I bet everyone wants to know. Who is the best boy in Lakewood? You know, the one that all the mothers want their daughters to marry. When asked this question, my brother turned a slight shade of pink, and said, "I don't know.... It really depends who's asking." My brother came from Israel and went straight to the freezer like thousands of other boys his age. The freezer means that a boy can't date for the first six months — or something like that. So when asked why he came back from Israel, he said, "Looking for a shidduch." I laughed in his face. "Sorry. Say it again." You left Israel to go to the freezer to date? Am I missing something? I'm confused. But that's okay. OK. Let's just review a bit, shall we? First, boys go to Lakewood because it's a town where everything revolves around Torah, yet they have to walk 10 minutes to Yeshiva if they don't have a parking space. Fine. Second, all boys in Lakewood are "the best boy in Lakewood." (That's not even grammatically correct.) And, for the finale, bochurim leave Israel to go to America to date to go to the freezer. Wow! Lakewood. What a place!